the cynical one

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Reflection

2010 vs 2014

How many years in between? It's 4 years. In a short 4 years, the waves of emotion is like a tsunami. Not because it was exciting, but because from the highest tip of the wave to the lowest level of the sea, is so great. How did things lead this way?

The environment? The work? The people? More often than not, it's the people. Ideals have changed, people have changed. For the better? I feel it's for their own individual better. Not exactly to help the entire community. But to help their individual self in the name of helping the entire community. Whether they see it this way, or see it the way that they are helping to improve the community is really impossible to tell. But to me, it seems clearly that they want to further their own career. The people who want to keep things improving are being shut out. What's left for me?

Can I carry on in a place that doesn't listen to what I say? Or makes a decision for me without asking me? Is it because of my pride? Or is it because I myself have ego issues just to stay on and try to attempt to prove myself? How do I survive in an environment that sometimes people infuse you with their optimism based on their ideals which you might not agree? Or with negativity that the old way works best.

The worst I've seen is people running down each other without telling each other. Especially if some are friends whom you care about. It's sickening to witness. And the worst part, it affects me too. Can I just shut out everything and continue to work like that?

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